In today's social media world, it is no surprise that some parents are adopting a "microwave mentality" regarding how they approach the process of athletic development and pursuit of scholarship. These parents want their kids to succeed as soon as possible and easily without challenge or adversity; they are not willing to put in the time and patience that it takes to help them develop their skills and talents over time to be successful.
Microwave parents are often impatient and extremely
unrealistic, sometimes delusional, about their athletes' aspirations within a
team sport setting. They want their kids to be the best at everything all at
once, and they do not understand that success comes through hard work,
discipline, and commitment over an extended amount of time.
Microwave parents see their kids as individual entities—meal
tickets—rather than team members with roles to help their actual team. This has become a problem in youth sports, where teamwork is a huge part
of the team’s success, yet parents seem to not understand. Micromanaging
parents often berate their athletes for making mistakes during games, or they
may try to coach them from the sidelines; these are the actions of an overly
active parent. This can be disruptive to the team and other players, making it difficult for their athletes to focus while playing the game
they love.
If you are a microwave parent, it is important to
take a step back to understand that it may be negatively affecting your child as well as the team. Everyone’s journey is different. Do not push them too hard
too early, or you will risk their resentment and damage your relationship with
your child. In addition, understand that your child is a member of a team
rather than an individual entity on a team. This will help them learn to master
their role on their team as well as learn to impact the game in various ways
outside of just scoring the ball; being on a team teaches many life skills:
working together, teamwork, and following decisions, which are essential skills
for any form of success in life.
Here are some tips for avoiding the microwave parent trap:
- Be patient. It takes time and
effort for kids to learn new skills and concepts. Do not expect them to
become superstars overnight.
- Focus on the journey, not the
destination. Help your athlete enjoy the process of getting better and
growing rather than just focusing on the end goal that will take care of
itself.
- Encourage teamwork. Allow your
athletes to learn to cooperate and work with their coaches and teammates
to get better. Understand that you are helping your athlete grow by
allowing them to focus on the process of getting better and grow as a
person through the process.
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